The sorrow of divorce is an essential part of a split up itself. Just recently, you had a pleasure, solved critical obstacles together, and were a part of a complex organism. Nowadays, the matrimony has turned into a cracked crystal vase, which you can’t collect its pieces. Every new day brings despair and sadness, and a protracted recession occurs. It is vital to get out of the trance in time to begin life from injury again.
The most challenging features to succeed after a separation is isolation. The current life is significantly altered from the earlier one because you can no longer count on anyone.
As practice semblances, the most challenging days are weekends and long holidays. In such times, the feeling of isolation is doubly intensified, because not so long ago all the cheery events you encountered with your spouse.
Break the connection
At this step, you require to examine yourself. You may not allow past life to influence events happening in the present. Define a communication with your ex-mate for 6-12 months after the separation, and if reasonable, totally break the link.
The best resolutions for you is an overall lack of connection. Make it evident that you do not demand additional contact. If the interlocutor tries to translate the discussion in a reverse direction, refer to the crucial encounter.
Temporarily reduce communication with the company of mutual friends who always talk about the former spouse. “Your Peter went to the seashore,” or “Tom found a new girlfriend.” You do not need to hear all these facts. They are entirely useless — no need to reopen old wounds. You can not quietly listen about how a new partner begins a new life after a divorce.
Do not perform hysterics
The advice is particularly crucial for sensitive characters who cannot cope with their sentiments after a breakup. Admit the fact that at first life will take a complicated, more intricate turn. Do not scroll through the head arguments, rumors, do not try to come up with an answer to past abuses.
It is noteworthy to identify that separation has already occurred, complaints have been made, and there is no need to go back to the past, no matter how much you want to. Also, do not call your partner, quietly into the phone, wanting to hear his voice.
Do not investigate what befell
If you have trouble managing disturbances, let them out. Turn on the shower, scream, and cry. Talk to yourself, bear in mind the past days. As soon as you cope with the emotions, leave them in the past. Wash your face with cold water, exhale, set yourself up for a new and peaceful life.
Do not keep the glum in yourself. It is better to survive what appeared one time than to experience each day. Look for improvements in everything that occurs. Global change brings something brilliant with it, and problems will subside soon. Focus on the critical thing: take care of the kids, make a career, dedicate a lot of time to yourself.
Now there is no need to get up at 6 am to assemble the straight to work. There will be no more significant achievement of “matrimonial debt.” From now everything depends on you: get cozy on the couch, watch your favorite films, read books. Live for yourself.
There is no need to delve into yourself and examine words, movements, activities. Live today. The separation has previously occurred. Tune in to a real wave.
Adjust the position
Grasp what is happening and take a whiff. If it is feasible, change the place, and go for permanent residency in a different city. It is especially applicable in cases where two people live in a tiny village where you have to see each other’s faces every day. Never try to guess you loved again.
In cases where the chance of changing the city is missing, create a comfortable bachelor’s nest. Make improvements in the home, replace the furniture, hang colorful pictures and decorations.
For a time, neglect that fact that you lately went through a separation. Think about yourself. What would you like at the very moment? An attractive option would be an excursion trip abroad or a tour to a ski resort. In this case, it is not vital to choose such areas of recreation in which you will engage in self-flagellation, looking at cute couples by the pool.
It is necessary to score every day of the tour to the outset so that there is no free time to think. Swim with scuba, swim with dolphins, order a gorgeous photo shoot on the Cote d’Azure or the small streets of America or Europe.
Try to exhaust yourself physically; when you come home, you should fall down and not think about divorce. Think over cultural monuments and world sights, then in an exhausted state, go to a room or a snug cafe around the corner. Feel like a real traveler!
During the travel get rid of automatic communication means. Turn off the phone, do not monitor email, and do not go to social networks: experience quiet, and tranquility and rest. Add real music and finally drop weeping songs.
Get rid of your minds
Assemble the items of the former partner in the box, share them to your friends, burn them or throw them into the trash can. In cases where the separation was uncomfortable, you can not leave memorabilia, such as a piece of gold jewelry with definite, beautiful shells with a free sign “I love you!” And so on. Yes, it is a pity to part with such things, but in the future, you will be apt to make a similar move.
Precious items (relic) should be thoroughly packed and stored in a separate box so that you do not see them when you come across. Gold, given by the previous gentleman, can be deposited in a jewelry store or pawnbroker. You can exchange them for new products or take the money.
Do not view films that were once seen collectively. Avoid going to the cinema or restaurant, where your mate has summoned you before. Free your subconscious mind, don’t let your account whisper “Identify how immeasurable it was before with him.” Shining times are waiting for you ahead.
Keep being pretty
Often you can hear the statement, which says that a girl after separation becomes only more beautiful. Start from this meaning. Take care of yourself, go for a manicure, pedicure, give a new form to your eyebrows. Change the image from scratch, change hair, or repaint it. Follow the chest, sift out everything that sits imperfectly. Buy a fragrance that will match especially you.
You can change jobs, find a captivating hobby that will take up all your available time. You might even want to do a facelift or lip development. Do something that you could not do during the matrimony.
Start interacting with the different sex
Do not deny yourself the entertainment of flirting or twisting holiday romance with attractive men. Nobody obliges you to sit on a leash at home or, on the contrary, to remarry. Do not settle on the fact that you are a divorced young woman; try not to memorize the ex-spouse in the society of new suitor.
Smile, have fun, affirm the invitation to the cinema or theater, fill the spiritual void with particular sentiments. Love comes when it is not required.
Of course, this advice will be difficult for all men of women, and this is not surprising. It is quite possible that you are not ready yet for a childish flirtation or cruel intentions on the part of the gentlemen. Work on your mind; do not deny life because of the dead alliance.
Psychologists make the next suggestions:
• Suffer well, but alone. Let the others see a sharp and confident woman. You can cry the attached sensations at home, and it will significantly ease the pain. The most valuable thing is not to delay sounding and not to overdo it with regrets.
• Learn something new about yourself. After the separation, almost all women feel depression, loss, and some gaps. Talking with family and friends will help seriously assess the situation.
• Take care of your appearance. Spend more time with your hobbies and exciting activities.
Now you have a lot of available time, fancy yourself, and you will discern how everything around will twinkle with other colors.
• Adjust the style, dye your hair in a different shade. Recreate yourself.
• Do not stay alone. There is no need to grieve while lying on the bed. You are waiting for exciting acquaintances and connections. Of course, fellows do not always have time to interact with you.
Nevertheless, there are lots of public places where you can meet and have a great time.
• Study on how to dream again
• If before that the burden of the family budget lay on your husband, now you must take care of your material well-being. Pleasant weakness and new information and friends will assist you.